It’s a southern tradition to emphasize a point you are about to make with the phrase, “As my dear mother used to say when I was a child …” When we hear someone begin that way in Texas, we listen up because we love our mommas and experience has taught us that they are usually right.

Well, as my dear mother used to say when I was a child, “none are so deaf as those who will not hear.” Or, as Jesus said, “He who has ears, let him hear” (Matthew 11:15). In other words, we can be told the truth as plainly as possible, but if we are committed to some other point of view, we can refuse to accept the validity of what we are being told or even pretend that it was never said.

I have seen that in my ministry. On two different occasions a husband came to see me because, much to his surprise, his wife had filed for divorce.  One literally found his bags packed on the front porch. I asked both husbands the same questions. “Did you know the two of you were having problems?” “Not any more than anyone else,” was the answer. “Did you know she was unhappy?” “No, not really,” they both replied. “Did she ever tell you that if your marriage did not change, she would leave?” Each one replied, “No, I never heard her say that.”

Here’s the irony. In both cases, weeks before my conversation with each man, his wife had come to see me because she was unhappy with her marriage and was thinking about leaving. When I asked each wife, “Have you told your husband how serious the situation is?” they both answered, “Oh, yes, several times. In fact, I told him that he needed to come see you or I was going to see a lawyer.”

How do you explain the husband not “getting it”? When you do not want to admit that there is a problem or how serious a problem is, or if dealing with reality means you must make some difficult changes, sometimes it is easier to ignore the problem and act like you do not know about it. Easier, but never productive.

I feel like the wives I counseled. So do many other evangelicals within the United Methodist Church. We have stated over and over that we have a problem with the One Church Plan (OCP). In fact, it is a problem that will cause us to leave the church if it becomes United Methodism’s new reality.

Forget all the pragmatic problems the plan would create: churches having to vote on whether to hold same-gender marriages on their property and the pain and the division that will cause our local congregations; some annual conferences voting year after year on whether to ordain practicing gay persons and the acrimony that will generate; in many conferences having more pastors who have conducted same-sex services than churches who will accept them. Even, for a moment, set aside what really matters – what the Scriptures clearly teach about marriage and sexual relations. Just hear this:  many – hundreds of thousands if not millions – of good United Methodists will not be able to stay in the UM Church if the One Church Plan is passed.

At its 2018 meeting, members of the North Georgia Annual Conference (the largest in the U.S.) were asked how they would respond if the current language in the Book of Discipline was liberalized to accept and affirm homosexual relations. Fully 25 percent of the delegates responded they would leave the church.

The results were even more dramatic when Good News surveyed 135 leading evangelical pastors, theologians, and lay persons. Over 90 percent said they would be forced to withdraw from the denomination if the OCP was passed. In good conscience, they could not remain in a church that promotes what they believe to be harmful to people, destructive to the witness of the church, and contrary to Scripture.

Will the One Church Plan create One Church? It may, but it will be missing thousands of its pastors and hundreds of thousands of its lay persons who lead many of the denomination’s largest congregations. To think otherwise is simply naive.

The Judicial Council recently ruled parts of the Traditional Plan unconstitutional. But the most important aspects of the plan were determined to be constitutional and those that were not are correctable and can be passed in St. Louis (see analysis on pages 6-7). The wrong conclusion would be to think that the OCP is now the way forward.  Not only is it unlikely to pass – similar plans have been soundly defeated every time they have been proposed – but should it be adopted by the General Conference, it will devastate the church we all say we love.

Some delegates may believe that it is worth shattering the United Methodist Church to adopt a new sexual ethic. They may believe marrying gay couples and ordaining practicing gay persons is worth losing thousands of pastors and hundreds of thousands of lay people. They may believe that a church without evangelicals is preferable to the church we have now. It will be a church that will allow UM entities to rejoin the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice and support any abortion at any time for any reason. It will be a church with few if any moderating voices on the Board of Church and Society. It will be a church without leading evangelical pastors and lay persons  rising on the floors of their annual conferences to challenge their views. It will be a church without most of its rapidly growing congregations and without many of its pastors who have a passion for evangelism. The delegates who vote for the OCP may prefer a separation that is chaotic rather than orderly. They may believe that a parting of the ways that is litigious, costly, and ugly is somehow better than one that is amicable and respectful. Maybe that’s the church they want. And if they do, then the OCP is the way to go.

But please, should that day come, do not say, “No one ever said they would have to leave. No one ever said they could not live with that reality. We had no idea the problem was that serious.”

We have told the church the truth as clearly and as often as we can. Many evangelical lay persons and most evangelical pastors will not be able to remain in the UM Church if the One Church Plan is adopted. It is not the way to unity. It is the way to division. It is not a plan for the UM Church to thrive. It is a plan for the church to be torn apart. I hope the delegates to General Conference 2019 can hear that. But, as my dear mother used to say, “none are so deaf as those who will not hear.”